Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!!!
The scream tore through the darkness,
Stopped me in my tracks,
I froze to the deafening silence.
Silhouettes of men against the foggy night
Scrambling for life,
They vanished out of sight
A frame slithered
My heart twitched
Amidst bitter sobbing
Someone shrieked,
“Help me..”
I slashed through the thick bush
My mind totally numb
I felt the blood rush
I tried not to succumb
Shreds of clothes strewn around,
Wriggled on the ground
Was a woman – naked
Wrapped in muck and blood,
Her hands bound with cord..
Her eyes devoid of expression
Her face starved of emotions
Her body writhed in pain,
She was floating in unknown terrain..
She was preyed upon
By ruthless scavengers called men,
Every inch of her body, clawed at
By those hungry vultures
She must have tried hard,
To stave off those beasts
As they raped her again and again..
Every breath of hers
Must have pleaded mercy
But she was ripped apart
With that male thrust..
A scar on her womanhood,
Soul devastated beyond repair
Dreams shattered,
Dignity snatched
She is reduced to nothing,
But a log of wood..
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3 comments:
This is very sharply intense. Quite prose-like which is not a bad move, mind you! I like how you've separated or structured this one. It is very clean.
I'd probably move this section - "wrapped in muck... unknown terrain" into another stanza, instead. I write so as that section is a hard hitting one. Let the readers take a pause before they read it.
And, I would end it with the title itself added as a separate line.
Hey, these are merely suggestions. So, take it or leave it. After all, it is all about perspectives.
Overall, a very strong piece describing a disturbingly true occurrence that sadly happens quite often these days.
PS: I don't know whether this is an ideal move. You can feel free to drop by my spot sometime. I write lyrics.
@ Brosreview,
Hi Dude! I just scanned through your blog, haven't been able to go through it well though. Will be doing that soon.
Thanks for your time, patience and the detailed comments on my blogs.. Like I always say, opportunities for Improvisation are always welcome and you provide me with that opporutnity more than often..
Will always look forward to your comments..
As it is said, curiousity gets the better of you, May I know your name??
its a very strong piece. as much as brosreview has helped u with a beautiful comment, i feel its just great as it is!
i was touched by the directness of the words. a sad tale concocted so beautifully. true occurences as bros said.
keep weaving such tales. they are an absolute delight to read! :)
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