Forgive Me...

I forgive myself often,

To have met someone
Liked that someone
Trusted that someone
Loved that someone unconditionally
Hear that someone – saying “I Love You”
To have believed that..
Having changed my world,
Coz that someone became “my World”
Craving,
For our conversations, for those moments, for HIM
For feeling “high” about our relationship
The promise that this would last….

Then,
Watch the person walk out of my life,
Letting him take my breath away
For the tears I have shed,
To see my world crumbling down
Being able to just watch and do nothing about it…

To have that someone,
Walk back into my life,
Having accepted him with arms wide open
To have believed,
Nothing’s changed..
That it will last forever!

And yet again, to have him
Take back his love
His love which meant so much to me,
To think that “WE” mattered..

For traversing into the future,
Trying to find his existence in my life
– a life of togetherness
For mulling over anything that could bring him back..
Letting myself to believe that it is possible..
For not conceding to the fact –
That he is no more in my life,
That he has “Moved On” – for the better

For having cried over that someone,
To whom I never really mattered,
Who could just forget me –
Like yet another passerby in his life,
Who implied I was a Fool,
Holding onto the past..
Unfortunately I looked through –
The rear view in my life

I now try to forgive myself –
For having become emotionless,
For not trusting anyone
For being cynical,
For that past which pushes its way through always,
No matter how far I try to run away from it..

I forgive myself for
For having sabotaged my own self!